Special Recognition: Worst Nintendo Power Cover: Virtual Boy

There are several great Nintendo Power covers and a lot of mediocre ones. But there's only one truly hideous cover. How appropriate that it's for the only hideous Nintendo system: the Virtual Boy.

First off, you've got horrible design sense of the mid-'90s, when everything had to look as x-treme as possible. The more fonts, the better. And, by god, don't implement any sort of standard alignment or spacing for the text.

The Virtual Boy––which forced gamers to crane their necks to look through the heavy goggles, which fed each eye a different viewpoint in order to simulate a blood-red 3D image––was notorious for being difficult to use and giving its victims, I mean owners, terrible headaches. Keeping that in mind, this might be the most accurate cover in Nintendo Power history. I can't look at it without getting nauseous.

Also: is that the Lawnmower Man back there?

Top 5 Nintendo Power Covers: Honorable Mention: Batman

Last fall, gamers everywhere were saddened by Ars Technica's report that Nintendo was ceasing publication of the venerable Nintendo Power magazine after more than 20 years of hard-hitting, unbiased Nintendo coverage.

Sure, the journalism industry is hurting, but this was still a shock. Now where will gamers go for Classified Information? Where will we see the further adventures of Nestor? And how will we live without the monthly list of the favorite 20 games of Nintendo retailers?? These questions may forever remain unanswered.

In the meantime, let's look back at the best Nintendo Power covers of all time; the ones that got you so excited about video games that you checked your mailbox every day when you were a kid.

This cover didn't quite crack the top five, because even though we all have fond memories of Jack Nicholson's Joker and it's totally badass that Batman is swinging from the P in the magazine's logo (or is that just a gap in the smoke? Hard to tell), a cover featuring official art from a game––or movie, in this case––simply can't top the glorious use of everyday dudes in video costumes we see on the publication's best covers.

But this cover still has a lot going for it. For one thing, all that smoke. This is the smokiest cover in video game magazine history. I'd think Batman was squealing the Batmobile's tires and doing donuts in the foyer of Axis Chemicals if he wasn't right up there batwalking around on that catwalk.

Then there's the fact that it looks like the Joker is wearing an over-sized Official Nintendo Seal of Quality lapel pin. We would kill for one of those.

Then there are the coverlines. When's the last time a magazine commanded you to read about Shadowgate? Probably not recent enough, if you're anything like us. Also, it's hard to believe a magazine could plug Double Dragon II and also boast of a "Double Bonus!" and not have those two things be connected in any way.

Finally, the thing that really makes this cover: "16-Page Tetris Tip Book." How can there possibly be that many tips for Tetris? Is it just the sentence "Don't let the blocks reach the top of the screen or you will lose yet again!" with one word on each page?

Top 5 Nintendo Power Covers: #1: Ninja Gaiden

Last month, gamers everywhere were saddened by Ars Technica's report that Nintendo was ceasing publication of the venerable Nintendo Power magazine after more than 20 years of hard-hitting, unbiased Nintendo coverage.

Sure, the journalism industry is hurting, but this was still a shock. Now where will gamers go for Classified Information? Where will we see the further adventures of Nestor? And how will we live without the monthly list of the favorite 20 games of Nintendo retailers?? These questions may forever remain unanswered.

In the meantime, let's look back at the best Nintendo Power covers of all time; the ones that got you so excited about video games that you checked your mailbox every day when you were a kid.

Why's this cover number one? Simple. It combines all the factors that make a great Nintendo Power cover.

1. A real-life model posing as a video game character! In this case, a very caucasian ninja is standing in for the game's hero: Ryu Hayabusa. Ryu is known for his impressive arsenal of ninja techniques and weapons, such as the art of the fire wheel, the spinning jump slash, and the windmill star. This cover's ninja appears to be holding a Slim Jim.

2. Cheesy background art! Let's see, we've got a city by the bay, which appears to be four blocks deep before you hit a massive jungle, with trees that even tower over skyscrapers. Then, on the horizon, a giant mountain rises out of the sun, which threatens to engulf the earth and is casting some strange shadows on the moon.

Also, given Ryu's position in relation to the background, where is he standing? In the crow's nest of a pirate ship? On the wing of an airplane? With ninjas, you can never tell.

3. Nonsensical coverlines! "New Hit in Cinema Display"? Does that mean you have to play it in a movie theater?

Top 5 Nintendo Power Covers: #2: Track & Field II

Last month, gamers everywhere were saddened by Ars Technica's report that Nintendo was ceasing publication of the venerable Nintendo Power magazine after more than 20 years of hard-hitting, unbiased Nintendo coverage.

Sure, the journalism industry is hurting, but this was still a shock. Now where will gamers go for Classified Information? Where will we see the further adventures of Nestor? And how will we live without the monthly list of the favorite 20 games of Nintendo retailers?? These questions may forever remain unanswered.

In the meantime, let's look back at the best Nintendo Power covers of all time; the ones that got you so excited about video games that you checked your mailbox every day when you were a kid.

When I got this issue in the mail as a kid, I was excited. The original Track & Field wasn't my cup of tea. Those sorts of competitions were never as exciting as other sports, like football or baseball, and anyway, the gameplay always boiled down to hitting one button as quickly as possible, so that got old real quick.

But track and field events with rocket shoes? That's something I could get into, and it's exactly what this cover was promising. Foot races would be much more fun if every competitor had radical nuclear hi-tops strapped to their feet while running on a track IN THE SKY! And if a simple race was that exciting in Track & Field II, imagine the badass spins the game must put on other events.  Shotput grenades? Long jumping over shark tanks? Lightsaber javenlins? The possibilities were endless! The coverline promise of "16 Explosive Events" only bolstered my assumptions about the game's content.

Unfortunately, the terrible reality of the situation is that Track & Field II is just more earthly track and field action. Nowhere in the entire game are rocket shoes to be found.

Upon closer inspection, the "CN" logo on the hi-tops reveals them to be connected to the Captain Nintendo "Video Game Super Hero Fiction Feature," which, to be fair, I recall being an awesome prose story about a regular dude having to fight video game enemies––such as Mother Brain from Metroid––that invaded our reality. It was sort of the inverse of Captain N: The Game Master.

In the end, I can't help but think of this cover as a missed opportunity. Consider all the awesome video game footwear they could have put on the cover instead:

High jump boots!

Iron boots!

Kuribo's Shoe!

Actually, never mind on this one

Top 5 Nintendo Power Covers: #3: Castlevania II

Last month, gamers everywhere were saddened by Ars Technica's report that Nintendo was ceasing publication of the venerable Nintendo Power magazine after more than 20 years of hard-hitting, unbiased Nintendo coverage.

Sure, the journalism industry is hurting, but this was still a shock. Now where will gamers go for Classified Information? Where will we see the further adventures of Nestor? And how will we live without the monthly list of the favorite 20 games of Nintendo retailers?? These questions may forever remain unanswered.

In the meantime, let's look back at the best Nintendo Power covers of all time; the ones that got you so excited about video games that you checked your mailbox every day when you were a kid.

This cover combines the splendor of a second-rate Trojan warrior costume from Party City with the creepiness of a real skull with the stellar photoshop skills needed to make Dracula's severed head's eyes glow. The result is the most spooktacular cover in Nintendo Power history.

The glory of this cover rests in its gory details: The ACE bandages wrapped around Simon Belmont's shins. The fog machine mist covering only his feet, as though it's a Rob Liefeld drawing. The red undershirt that has us convinced the model portraying Simon is on his meal break from the local Target. What a horrible night to have to pose for a Nintendo Power cover.

Look closely and you'll even see the five body parts you have to collect in order to beat Castlevania II. They're right there on his velour cape. PS. Did you know that a ring counts as a body part?

Also: "More Super Mario 2"! This issue of Nintendo Power is intended for those who can't get enough Super Mario 2. All four of you.

Top 5 Nintendo Power Covers: #4: WWF Super Wrestlemania

Last month, gamers everywhere were saddened by Ars Technica's report that Nintendo was ceasing publication of the venerable Nintendo Power magazine after more than 20 years of hard-hitting, unbiased Nintendo coverage.

Sure, the journalism industry is hurting, but this was still a shock. Now where will gamers go for Classified Information? Where will we see the further adventures of Nestor? And how will we live without the monthly list of the favorite 20 games of Nintendo retailers?? These questions may forever remain unanswered.

In the meantime, let's look back at the best Nintendo Power covers of all time; the ones that got you so excited about video games that you checked your mailbox every day when you were a kid.

Hulkamania faced one of its toughest tests in the spring of 1990, when the Canadian Earthquake (pictured) ambushed Hulk Hogan while he was being interviewed on the Brother Love show and sat on his chest, putting him in the hospital and putting his career in jeopardy. Thanks to the countless letters of support sent to him by little Hulkamaniacs the world over, Hogan was able to recover in time to challenge Earthquake to a grudge match at Summerslam '90.

This Nintendo Power cover commemorates how, using the power of a Super Nintendo controller, Hogan was able to overcome his husky opponent and restore the natural balance of U.S.-Canadian foreign relations.

Please note that Hulk's atomic legdrop is not a move that can actually be performed in WWF Super Wrestlemania.

Also: CD ROM TECH UPDATE! Nintendo Power's investigative journalists ripped the lid off the space-age technology known as "CD ROM." Too bad no Nintendo console has ever incorporated it.

Top 5 Nintendo Power Covers: #5: Super Mario Bros. 2

Last month, gamers everywhere were saddened by Ars Technica's report that Nintendo was ceasing publication of the venerable Nintendo Power magazine after more than 20 years of hard-hitting, unbiased Nintendo coverage.

Sure, the journalism industry is hurting, but this was still a shock. Now where will gamers go for Classified Information? Where will we see the further adventures of Nestor? And how will we live without the monthly list of the favorite 20 games of Nintendo retailers?? These questions may forever remain unanswered.

In the meantime, let's look back at the best Nintendo Power covers of all time; the ones that got you so excited about video games that you checked your mailbox every day when you were a kid.

The first-ever Nintendo Power cover, from 1988, is still one of the best. This was the era before concept art, meaning that magazine publishers had to get a little more creative with the visuals for their covers. In this case: clay figurines!

If you didn't know any better, you'd think Mario was the villain here, what with his demonic, curling mustache, his wicked grin, his pallid demeanor, and the unhinged look in his eyes. Meanwhile, Wart looks like he just woke up from a nap and is mildly irritated that somebody raided his carrot patch.