Friday, September 1, 2017

Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 39: Vote of Terror

But her emails! In this portentous episode, SAVAGE has decided to interfere in the presidential election of a small country called Kai Moon in order to elect a puppet candidate seeking to curtail voting rights. How are they doing it? As Trautman explains: "Warhawk's trying to stop President Wang from being reelected using every dirty trick in the book, from smear tactics to mass intimidation!"

Good thing Wang's men are there to safely dogpile him if any tanks break into his office.
And those are just the tricks you might have heard of. Other chapters in the book of dirty tricks include:

  • Destroying all the rickety suspension bridges in the country to keep voters away from the polls!
  • Putting scorpions in all the parachutes so you can't get to the polls that way either!

"The scorpions—they've gummed up the works!"

  • Blowing up commuter railways with old-timey pump detonators!
  • Chasing down voters with manned drones!
  • Infiltrating the electorate with hat-based disguises!
  • Gaslighting President Wang by claiming that he's hired Rambo to illegally swing the election!
  • Kidnapping the First Lady Wang!

That last one was accomplished by SAVAGE's newest member: Snakebite, who was described by someone in the know as "a man with a backpack full of snakes and rats." That's his thing. Snakes and rats, living in harmony. In his backpack. Zoologists might be impressed, but we're not. And neither is Rambo.

Rambo shows up, hits Snakebite with his own giant anaconda,

The phallic connotations!
then takes him for a scary motorcycle sidecar ride

until Snakebite spills the beans on the location of Ms. Wang. Rambo rescues her and, election day be damned, she wants a ride on that motorcycle immediately.


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