Friday, September 1, 2017

What's Rambo Doing on His Day Off? #26

While KAT and Turbo catch some rays, Rambo catches some waves—until Uncle Sam comes calling, that is!

As seen in Rambo: The Force of Freedom episode 40: Target Supertanker

Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 39: Vote of Terror

But her emails! In this portentous episode, SAVAGE has decided to interfere in the presidential election of a small country called Kai Moon in order to elect a puppet candidate seeking to curtail voting rights. How are they doing it? As Trautman explains: "Warhawk's trying to stop President Wang from being reelected using every dirty trick in the book, from smear tactics to mass intimidation!"

Good thing Wang's men are there to safely dogpile him if any tanks break into his office.
And those are just the tricks you might have heard of. Other chapters in the book of dirty tricks include:

  • Destroying all the rickety suspension bridges in the country to keep voters away from the polls!
  • Putting scorpions in all the parachutes so you can't get to the polls that way either!

"The scorpions—they've gummed up the works!"

  • Blowing up commuter railways with old-timey pump detonators!
  • Chasing down voters with manned drones!
  • Infiltrating the electorate with hat-based disguises!
  • Gaslighting President Wang by claiming that he's hired Rambo to illegally swing the election!
  • Kidnapping the First Lady Wang!

That last one was accomplished by SAVAGE's newest member: Snakebite, who was described by someone in the know as "a man with a backpack full of snakes and rats." That's his thing. Snakes and rats, living in harmony. In his backpack. Zoologists might be impressed, but we're not. And neither is Rambo.

Rambo shows up, hits Snakebite with his own giant anaconda,

The phallic connotations!
then takes him for a scary motorcycle sidecar ride

until Snakebite spills the beans on the location of Ms. Wang. Rambo rescues her and, election day be damned, she wants a ride on that motorcycle immediately.


Friday, May 26, 2017

Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 38: Mind Control

Pop quiz, hot shot. Explain the plot of this episode of Rambo solely by interpreting this series of gifs!

If you guessed "Rambo has to take a break from lecturing thievious raccoons at his cabin because SAVAGE has created a mind control device that's activated over the phone which also gives its victims super strength and invulnerability and is using it to brainwash scientists at the Lazer Lab so as to steal a lazer for nefarious means and they'll even go so far as brainwashing KAT's old college roomie Lisa into a dead-eyed uzi fighter who steals the final crucial piece of the lazer while Rambo is storming an Arctic base on skis and also while SAVAGE is attacking a desert lazer installation with a group of tanks and ninjas hidden beneath the desert sands so Rambo then must deliver his own special brand of interrogation to KAT's old college brainwashing professor who reveals the secrets of mind control allowing Rambo to break the spell and then comfort Lisa," you nailed it. Good job!

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Jessica Fletcher in Peril #1

While on one of her trademark mystery-considering walks, Jessica Fletcher is nearly struck by an errant frisbee.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

What's Rambo Doing on His Day Off? #24

After cheering on KAT during her "posing while riding a horse" show, Rambo jumps into the rodeo for himself. Or, more accurately: he jumps off a super angry bull, and, to the approval of the crowd, sticks his dismount.

As seen in Rambo: The Force of Freedom episode 37: SAVAGE Rustlers.