Friday, May 26, 2017

Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 38: Mind Control

Pop quiz, hot shot. Explain the plot of this episode of Rambo solely by interpreting this series of gifs!


















If you guessed "Rambo has to take a break from lecturing thievious raccoons at his cabin because SAVAGE has created a mind control device that's activated over the phone which also gives its victims super strength and invulnerability and is using it to brainwash scientists at the Lazer Lab so as to steal a lazer for nefarious means and they'll even go so far as brainwashing KAT's old college roomie Lisa into a dead-eyed uzi fighter who steals the final crucial piece of the lazer while Rambo is storming an Arctic base on skis and also while SAVAGE is attacking a desert lazer installation with a group of tanks and ninjas hidden beneath the desert sands so Rambo then must deliver his own special brand of interrogation to KAT's old college brainwashing professor who reveals the secrets of mind control allowing Rambo to break the spell and then comfort Lisa," you nailed it. Good job!

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Jessica Fletcher in Peril #1


While on one of her trademark mystery-considering walks, Jessica Fletcher is nearly struck by an errant frisbee.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

What's Rambo Doing on His Day Off? #24


After cheering on KAT during her "posing while riding a horse" show, Rambo jumps into the rodeo for himself. Or, more accurately: he jumps off a super angry bull, and, to the approval of the crowd, sticks his dismount.


As seen in Rambo: The Force of Freedom episode 37: SAVAGE Rustlers.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 36: Children for Peace


With a title like that, your expectations get set at maximum. The good news? With a hero like Rambo, you're guaranteed an episode that'll exceed those hopes.

For starters, Rambo is taking a working vacation to Sydney, Australia, where he's keeping a watchful eye over the proceedings at the Children's Peace Conference at the legendary Opera House.

Classy place. Just the classiest. Tremendous
SAVAGE, having a direct philosophical opposition to the discussions, decides to crash the party. The best way to do so? Send in Black Dragon in one of his patented unexpected forms of transportation!

Parasail hang glider!
One thing leads to another, and we eventually reach the only possible endpoint of this scenario:

Rambo driving a three-wheeler while battling ninjas atop the Opera House.
This smoothly transitions into a knife-vs.-sword duel with Black Dragon, who eventually beats a hasty retreat.

I bet this kind of thing happens all the time in Australia.
The peace conference now over, Rambo decides to give all six kids, who represent no fewer than five different continents, a ride home in his plane at the same time. That's going to be a long ride if you're the last one to get dropped off. SAVAGE, pissed that the conference was such a huge success, shoot the plane down and leave Rambo playing babysitter to a bunch of mock government nerds in the middle of the African wilderness. The American kid is especially obnoxious, always trying to get the others to drink water without boiling it, amongst other survival faux pas.

After Rambo chooses the wrong moment to try to cross a fallen log, he's separated from the kids and must climb up a rope to ascend a chasm. That's when he runs into some unexpected traffic.

"If you've got a poison stinger, you've got the right of way!"–John Rambo
His problems don't stop even after he's reunited with the children—he's immediately challenged to a fight by the chieftain of a local baboon tribe.

The Chinese delegate has the right idea. Eyes closed!
After protracted battle, Rambo throws the baboon into a pit of quicksand and then rescues it, earning the respect of the tribe and forging and unbreakable bond between man and beast.


They then team up to fight SAVAGE.

MISSION COMPLETE.