Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 35: The Iron Mask

The Force of Freedom is enjoying some R&R at Oktoberfest in Germany when the mayor has a heart attack. After Rambo saves him with some quick CPR, he gets back up and continues hosting like nothing ever happened.

Meanwhile, nearby, a young German boy named Horst is spying on the Man in the Iron Mask, who is informing SAVAGE in his castle that he has found a sunken plane full of Nazi gold in the lake next to his castle. The boy sees the man without his mask, so they all chase him on foot through the Black Forest, where he trips and falls, giving himself amnesia.

Luckily, he sees Rambo in town and seeks his assistance (good instincts!). Rambo keeps saying they need to get Horst to "a safe place." The mayor offers his secluded hunting cabin, which Rambo thinks sounds like a great idea. So they hop in the attack jeep with this child, to bring him to the secluded hunting cabin.

BUT! Mad Dog and his biker gang show up on their attack three-wheelers.

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Rambo turns the tables by shooting a rocket into a cornfield, showering his pursuers in popcorn. They crash and are chased away by pigs.

Rambo then drives the attack boat over to the Nazi gold lake and dives down to check things out. Have you ever considered engaging Rambo in undersea combat?
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I STRONGLY ADVISE AGAINST IT.

After getting lassoed by the Man in the Iron Mask and dragged behind a speedboat like a tuber (he even gets pulled through the weeds!), Rambo escapes into his attack boat and wreaks havoc. The only way to stop him? Light the lake on fire! 

Except even that doesn't do the job.
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"Now I know how fried chicken feels!" That's literally what he said.

Rambo then returns to the secluded hunting cabin to hang out with Horst.


Sadly, the secluded hunting cabin is immediately run over by the Man in the Iron Mask in a tank. He's even got Rambo on the ropes, until...
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After that, all that's left to do is rescue KAT and Turbo from being incinerated by a space rocket that, in an unexplained segment of their plan, SAVAGE filled up with the sunken Nazi gold, and then deliver this peice of advice to Horst: "Parents are a lot more forgiving than kids think!" before staring into the wind and smiling.
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No one has ever been happier than Rambo is at this moment.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

What's Rambo Doing on His Day Off? #23

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The mayor of Oktoberfest has had a massive heart attack! Rambo jumps in with some timely rescue breathing.

As seen in Rambo: The Force of Freedom episode 35: The Iron Mask.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Murder She Wrote Recaps: S3E3: Unfinished Business


Road trip! Jessica Fletcher and her Cabot Cove cohorts, Sheriff Amos and Doctor Seth, take a drive to Juniper Lake Resort, where the cabins are $20/night, the drinks are strong, and an investigation into a mysterious death from 30 years ago is heating up again––with Seth as one of the suspects.

The stress of having a close friend under suspicion clearly wears on Jessica, because when the local sheriff's investigation doesn't meet her rigorous standards, she gets all huffy and threatens to call the governor.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

What's Rambo Doing on His Day Off? #22

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John Rambo puts a book to its best use: keeping the sun out of his eyes while he naps in the attack jeep.

As seen in Rambo: The Force of Freedom episode 33: Freedom Dancer.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Murder She Wrote Recaps: S3E2: Death Stalks the Big Top, Part 2


While trying to clear her brother-in-law Neil's name, Jessica runs afoul of the obstructionist mayor. In a rare display of hypocrisy, she tells him he has no authority to get involved in a police investigation, but no one calls her on it.

After a rival circus promoter is also murdered, Jess is knocked out with a chloroformed rag and dumped in a burning motel room, only to be saved at the last minute by a recently released Neil.

Later, she confronts the true murderer under the big top and somehow gets him to reveal his actions by convincing him to theorize about what he WOULD have done if he HAD committed the murders. When Jessica realizes this won't be enough for a court of law to convict the man, she has a couple of carnies start shoving him into a cage with a hungry tiger until he panics and reveals where he hid a bloody hacksaw, which is enough to seal his fate.

The episode ends with Jess revealing to Courteney Cox and her father that Neil is alive and well. The father considers faking his own death to escape from his terrible wife.