Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Top 5 Most Misleading NES Box Art: #5: Rocket Ranger
First off, don't be fooled. Bettie Page is not in this game. In fact, don't expect to see any women, much less one of the most beloved fashion icons of all time.
The box art makes you think you'll be flying through space, shooting casually to one side, while being totally unconcerned with the villains chasing you in their tricked-out, space-worthy Astro Van. In reality, Rocket Ranger is partly a poorly explained Choose Your Own Adventure book in which you can never seem to go where you want to, and partly a bizarre, non-rocket, Nazi boxing simulation, except not remotely as cool as that sounds.
And sure, the in-game graphics don't accurately represent Rocket Ranger's amazing tan, perfect hair, and bright white smile. But more importantly, this box art doesn't accurately represent the butt crack of his purple pants, which is what you'll spend all of the game's flying sections looking at.