Friday, February 3, 2012

Poster Pitch #1: Invasion U.S.A.

What can a poster tell you about a movie? Does it hint at the plot? Does it make us want to see the movie? In Poster Pitch, we ignore everything we know about a movie and judge it solely based on the information presented within the boundaries of the poster.

First up: Invasion U.S.A. 

Clearly the movie stars Chuck Norris. His name is even bigger than the title of the movie on this poster. So right off the bat my eyes go directly to the image of Chuck Norris wearing extremely tight jeans, a tucked-in, denim, cut-off shirt (unbuttoned all the way down) and two crazy shoulder machine gun slings. He is standing directly behind the title staring directly into the eyes of anyone looking at this poster, daring the viewer to buy a ticket to this film: "Do you have balls big enough to wear this much denim while firing machine guns at targets that I have no need to look at because I am to busy staring at your pussy face!"

Now I am going to have to assume that Norris is playing the hero, although the poster makes it look like the American Army is chasing him out of both Washington D.C. and New York City simultaneously. I base my assumption off of Chuck's track record of playing heroes. That leaves the invading force in question. So now the studio has one thing working for it. I am now curious about what or whom the invading force might be.  

The tagline on the poster reads, "No one thought it could happen here... America wasn't ready... But HE WAS." That line could be referring to the staggering amount of denim that Chuck is wearing. I wasn't ready for it and I certainly don't blame America for not being ready for it. But if one person is ready for anything, including an emerging trend in cut-off denim dress shirts, it would be Mr. Norris.

Another interpretation would be that it was in fact Chuck Norris who was ready for the supposed invasion. It appears that he was ready, because he is brandishing two very small and highly inaccurate machine guns which he is firing blindly in both directions as he stares purposefully forward.

After all of these possibilities what I think the studio wants you to take away from this poster is that Chuck Norris is a bad ass, denim clad, one man army capable of crushing any attempt at invading the U.S.A.! So buy a ticket and come see how he does it!! You win this time, studio. I am completely sold!


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