Monday, February 6, 2012

Poster Pitch #2: Stunt Rock

What can a poster tell you about a movie? What's it about? Does it make us want to see the movie? In Poster Pitch, we ignore everything we know about a movie and judge it solely based on the information presented within the boundaries of the poster.

Take a moment and just drink in everything this poster is offering you. Take your time, drink it in, and then gaze into the gloriousness that is the Stunt Rock poster. This poster sold me on seeing this movie the very instant I laid eyes upon it. But for the sake of this post let's see if we can't dissect what exactly this poster is trying to tell us about Stunt Rock.

Let's start at the bottom of this testosterone-oozing one-sheet. Right on top of the title you have two ultra kickass muscle cars racing out of a white-hot explosion. Between the two cars there is a man apparently jumping from one car to the next. Why he's swapping rides is unknown, but my guess is that driving one car out a fireball just isn't badass enough so he needs to jump into another sweet ride at top speed. 

There's another man inside the inferno. What this man is up to is completely open to interpretation. It appears he is either riding a motorcycle completely engulfed in flames, or he has been shot from a cannon. Either way, there is no questioning the size of this mans balls. I am sure they are enormous and made of solid steel.  

On top of this stunt comes the rock portion of the poster! Clearly this rock 'n roll sex god is shredding a face melting solo that, for all we know, caused the explosion below. If that's not enough for you there appears to be some sort of warlock casting a heavy metal enchantment, +1 to shredding, onto the neck of the guitar. Now behind all of this there is a sorceress queen lurking about. Her lustful gaze is cast upon the rock god and his almighty magical axe.  

Just in case the stunt at the bottom of the poster wasn't enough to convince you that this film will destroy the fabric of your very existence there is another stunt happening at the top. A hang glider. A mother fucking hang glider! The badassery is now officially off the charts! To top it off, there's a gigantic skull back drop just to reinforce the fact that this film is full of death and danger.  

So what is this movie going to be about? Stupid fucking question! Will there be stunts? You better fucking believe it! Will there be rock? You can bet your meaningless life on it! What does magic have to do with anything? Fuck you for even asking that question!!


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