Poster Pitch #3: BMX Bandits

What can a poster tell you about a movie? What's it about? Does it make us want to see the movie? In Poster Pitch, we ignore everything we know about a movie and judge it solely based on the information presented within the boundaries of the poster.

Sometimes it's really unclear what a studio is trying to sell you. They want to sell movies to the broadest range of demographics to achieve a high box office gross, but sometimes when such a wide net is cast the intended audience is left confused and unsure of what to expect. The BMX Bandits poster is a great example of this.  

Clearly all the action is taking place in the center of this poster. There is a main image that is flanked on all sides by supplemental images. Perhaps the studio is hoping I will put this sequence together and decide that I would totally love to see this movie.

The picture in the upper left is clearly a guy on a sweet BMX bike flying out of a bush onto a sweet cherry red convertible. I have no idea why the BMXer decided to ambush this defenseless convertible, but we can only hope that he is going to execute a sweet flatland BMX routine when he lands, then ghost ride the bike through the windshield.

Moving over to the top right corner, if you squint really hard, you can see a terrified teenager fleeing from a horde of ravenous goblin creatures. If you squint really really hard it looks like a pack of werewolves. Since we all know werewolves don't hunt in packs, this theory is ridiculous! For whatever reason, this picture is the only one that doesn't feature a BMX bike. I am guessing he learned his lesson, and won't be forgetting his bike next time!

Dropping down to the lower right corner reveals an interesting scenario. It appears that some kind of rad dude on a BMX bike is jousting a pair of sharply dressed salesmen.

The final corner picture is self explanatory. Just a bunch of kids getting ready for the race. It could be that the other three dudes are on their way to this race and ran into a few "obstacles" along the way.

The center image is really in your face and over the top, featuring a young Nicole Kidman and two of her best BMX bros soaring away from a speeding car on their magical BMX bikes. This is the kind of thing I imagined I could do if only my parents had bought me that sweet Predator or Dyno bike when I was ten.

So apparently if you love ambushing convertibles, angry goblin creatures, jousting and flying on magical BMX bikes with your BFFs, this movie is for you! I enjoy at least three of those things so I better check this one out.

-Dusty