Murder She Wrote Recaps: S1E20: Armed Response

Jessica flies to Dallas to serve as an expert witness in a copyright infringement lawsuit, but before she can make her first of many MSW courtroom appearances, an airport mishap leaves her with a sprained ankle. At the hospital, where she meets her toughest match yet: cynical Dr. Ellison, played by the legendary Martin Kove (Cobra Kai sensei John Kreese from The Karate Kid).

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #1: Modern Samurai

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

There can be only one. Why this one? Because Martin Kove is our spirit animal and he will chop you with his tiny katana blades if you disagree. It's as good a reason as any for this cover to top our list.

This is also the issue where Inside Karate rips the lid off the existence of current-day samurai. They exist, and they're al Qaeda's worst nightmare. Do you know why you aren't getting an envelope full of anthrax in your mailbox every day? Samurai. Modern ones. Even now the samurai are scouring the caves of Afghanistan in order to protect us all.

The other great thing about this cover is the implication that Kove himself is one of these modern samurai. IK is like, "We're not directly saying he is, but we're not saying he isn't." And really, who are we to argue with John Steele?

Bonus points for the unnecessary-but-artfully placed drop of blood.


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Throwing the Controller: Okinawan Typhoon Season

In Throwing the Controller, we look back at the most infuriating enemies, levels and screwovers in NES history.

You've heard of "infotainment." Now discover "enteractivity!"

One of the most ambitious early NES games, The Karate Kid takes players on an exciting journey through the events of the first two movies.

The first of the game's four stages recreates the All Valley Under 18 Karate Tournament that Daniel LaRusso wins at the end of the first movie. Sadly, there is no boss fight against Sensei John Kreese, making Rambo the only video game to ever feature an enemy portrayed by your god and mine, Martin Kove.

Seriously, someone tell me where I can get a copy of this magazine.

But that's just a disappointment––albeit a major one––not a screwover.

The game's remaining three stages detail Daniel and Mr. Miyagi's journey to Okinawa. Stage three in particular recreates the memorable typhoon that strikes the island just as the bad blood between Miyagi and Sato comes to a boil.

Despite his months of intense karate training under Mr. Miyagi, Daniel finds the weather to be more powerful than Johnny, Tommy, Bobby, Jimmy and Dutch combined. He can't even stand still in the face of the gale force winds––the wind continuously pushes him backwards. That would only be an annoyance, except the level contains tons of tricky platform jumps over the deadly Okinawan water.

Excuse me: the normal Okinawan water. Too bad Mrs. LaRusso didn't spring for swimming lessons in addition to those martial arts ones. Making matters worse, helpless birds and flying sticks are constantly flying right at face level. It's almost as if Mother Nature herself has joined the Cobra Kai.

If you believe this game, the wind is Daniel's most dangerous opponent ever.

Bonus Screwover!

Karate Kid is probably most fondly remembered for its three mini-games of skill. Recreating famous training scenes from the movies, these hidden bonus scenarios give the player a chance to earn extra uses of the famous Miyagi Dojo special attacks: the crane kick and the drum punch.

Don't expect to earn any rewards if you're randomly dropped into the swinging hammer game, though. It's incredibly tough to time your jumps in order to avoid the pendulum-like hammer that comes at Daniel faster and faster. Here's the kicker, though-–jumping doesn't even count! You're actually supposed to be pushing the A button just before the hammer smashes you. The timing to do so is even more strict, so much so that I usually just give up immediately and accept Daniel's fate of gruesome blunt force trauma.

Please, hammer, don't hurt him.

With the benefit of hindsight, we're certain that the developers should've replaced this unbeatable level with a deck-sanding mini-game, a car-waxing mini-game, a fence-painting mini-game or, even better, a shower curtain costume-wearing mini-game.