Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #1: Modern Samurai

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

There can be only one. Why this one? Because Martin Kove is our spirit animal and he will chop you with his tiny katana blades if you disagree. It's as good a reason as any for this cover to top our list.

This is also the issue where Inside Karate rips the lid off the existence of current-day samurai. They exist, and they're al Qaeda's worst nightmare. Do you know why you aren't getting an envelope full of anthrax in your mailbox every day? Samurai. Modern ones. Even now the samurai are scouring the caves of Afghanistan in order to protect us all.

The other great thing about this cover is the implication that Kove himself is one of these modern samurai. IK is like, "We're not directly saying he is, but we're not saying he isn't." And really, who are we to argue with John Steele?

Bonus points for the unnecessary-but-artfully placed drop of blood.


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #2: The Sword and the Cinema!

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

This is it. The issue where the magazine finally stops beating around the bush and reveals the ultimate martial arts technique: Shooting your opponent with a gun. Doesn't matter if you're facing a black belt in karate, tae kwon do, capoeira, judo, jeet kune do, kung fu or tae bo. A bullet trumps everything!

Also: Let's get real, Inside Karate. Why even bother teaching jujutsu moves to women? Just give 'em a rifle.

Combine that amazing story with a cover feature about Bolo Yeung, the guy who played Chong Li in Bloodsport (Want to get a glimpse of his legendary pecs? You're gonna have to buy the issue!), and this issue is clearly the #2 choice for our countdown!


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #3: Togetherness Training

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

Finally, the secret of JCVD's martial arts training is revealed! Over the past few decades, many in the martial arts and filmmaking communities and have questioned Van Damme's asskicking bonafides. "He doesn't actually know karate," some have claimed. "He's just a glorified gymnast!"

Well, this cover sets the record straight once and for all. JCVD is a black belt in the ancient art of Togetherness. Clearly, that's also the secret he learned before breaking into martial arts films, considering that he's never been hurt.

We also like to think that the windmill technique Jean-Claude is demonstrating with his arms on this cover is the key to blowing away his opponent's kicks. Now if only he could brush up on the fine art of hinting so as to let Gladys down easy in regards to the questionable fashion value of her combination jumpsuit-overalls workout apparel.

That's what makes this the #3 Inside Karate cover––everything ties together so beautifully.


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #4: Michele "Mouse" Krasnoo

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

Sometimes we think Inside Karate should be renamed Inside the Patronization of Karate Women. As you can see, the tradition of doing cover shoots with women in their silk pajamas continues in this issue.

Many an adept karate master has been killed because they got into a karate fight on the street, where they weren't adequately dressed for deadly combat. That's why it's important to wear your dojo uniform at all times, or barring that, read this issue's guide to protecting yourself from a surprise assault from the likes of Mark Glazier.

Also: we still haven't figured out what the placement of the quotation marks is supposed to mean in "'How Hapkido' Saved My Career." But figuring out this cover's punctuation-fu is far more rewarding than trying to remember the career(?) of L.A. Dodgers slowballer Jim Gott. Though we would have killed to see Gott utilize the traditional hapkido nunchaku on the mound.

Becoming an Instructor: Are You Bad Enough? If only that was the headline, this cover would have grabbed the coveted #1 spot on our countdown. As it is, the Michele "Mouse" Krasnoo's slumber party pictorial can only squeak this cover into fourth place.


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #5: The Martial Art of Zorro

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

When you think of history's greatest martial arts film stars, you think of Jackie Chan. Tony Jaa. Chuck Norris. Oh yeah, and Antonio Banderas. This issue promises an in-depth expose on the "martial art of Zorro," which mainly involved distracting his enemies with his luscious chest hair before hacking their dresses to pieces with his sword. Oh and riding horses. That's a martial art, right?

The thing we really love about this cover, though, is the Zorro/Bruce Lee pastiche. It appears that Lee is using his superhuman speed to sneak up behind the Mexican freedom fighter, whose head is somehow squished between the "Inside" and the "Karate."

Also: Stare into Cynthia Barker's abs and tell us what happens. Have you lost the capacity for speech? No problem, she clearly knows sign language!

Apparently an army once conquered the world using only grappling techniques. Tell me again why Inside Karate once claimed there were seven reasons never to grapple?


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #6: Female Action Stars

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

It's not 1952 anymore. This is the '90s. Our females want to have it all. They want to be action stars. They want to want to wear silk karate gis with a bedazzled fringes. And they want to wear makeup and jewelry while they kick dudes straight through the Inside Karate logo. And why shouldn't they be able to? Females can do anything––even go one-on-one with Don "The Dragon" Wilson, if we're reading this cover correctly. Does this mean that "The Dragon" is against the idea of females being action stars? Find out... inside!

Are your kids having trouble paying attention in school? Not to worry! Just use Tae Kwon Do on them until they shape up! For the record, we're hoping that Tae Kwon Do is also the cure to the Delayed Death Touch.

Also of note: Another point in favor of grappling. And if the Boston Crab isn't included in the list of Unbeatable Finishing Holds, I'm canceling my subscription.

Plus! Inside Karate finally defeated Inside Tae Kwon Do once and for all, and, after eating its heart, has now usurped its power!


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #7: Mark Glazier

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

Finally, Inside Karate stops tip-toeing around addressing the ultimate threat to any karate fighter: guns. (Or "gun defenses," as their confused phrasing seems to imply.) What do you do when your opponent pulls a firearm? Is your chi bad enough to stop a bullet? Find out inside!

"Ranking Systems: What do they Really Mean?" In other words, this issue of Inside Karate has a cover feature that could have been called "How to read numbers."

And, of course, Mark Glazier. Who is he? Judging by this cover, he's a suburban dad who saw some black teens at the mall last weekend and got scared. Now he walks the streets at night, shoeless, in his grey jeans and homemade karate top, jump-punching any feathered-mulleted fool to wander within striking distance. A true success story!

We're also crossing our fingers that Mark Glazier is the secret identity of masked karate pro wrestler Glacier.

Hopefully next issue will reveal the secret behind the Mark Glazier Cryonic Kick!


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #8: Ernie Reyes Jr.

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

Ernie Reyes Jr. appeared on the cover of Inside Karate no fewer than four times over the course of its publication. This one makes our list, however, because it's the only cover to capture Ernie (who, as you know, went on to star in Surf Ninjas, TMNT 2: The Secret of the Ooze, and the wildly underrated The Rundown) in the midst of an attempted murder. Such a shame to get bloodstains on that sweet camouflage karate gi, though.

In honor of the most amazing Point-Counterpoint topic we've ever seen, we held our own session, which we hope lives up to high standard of IK editorial content.

Ross: Point. It's good that the Ninja have Secret Strategies. It would be very un-ninja-like for them to reveal their strategies to the world and their enemies.

Dusty: Counterpoint. Inside Karate is doing society a favor by blowing the lid off of the Secret Strategies held by the Ninjas. No longer will the world's entire population need to walk in fear of a secretly strategic ninja attack.

Ross: Point. Even if civilians learn the Secret Strategies, what good will it do them? The Ninja have perfected them for years! Let me give you an example: Dragon Sound keyboardist Jim learned all about secret ninja strategies from his bandmates. But his knowledge didn't save him from immediately getting chopped in the back with a katana when the chips were down.

Dusty: Counterpoint. The members of Dragon Sound followed the discipline of Tae Kwon Do and knew very little of ninja activities or techniques, which is the reason that Keyboard Jim received a devastating katana back chop. Perhaps they should have been reading Inside Karate instead of hanging out at home doing homework.

Ross: Point. Publishing an expose on the Secret Strategies must have put the editorial staff of Inside Karate at severe risk of a ninja attack. Maybe the magazine was never actually cancelled. Maybe the entire staff just died in a mysterious shuriken accident.

Dusty: Counterpoint. The entire editorial staff at Inside Karate is actually comprised of ninja warriors. By publishing a false list of secret ninja strategies, they have lured the unsuspecting public in a false sense of security. Also there is no such thing as a shuriken "accident" when ninjas are involved.

Ross: Point. I can't argue with any of that. You win.

Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #9: Conan!

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

This cover is awesome. In fact, if not for Ralf Moeller, this might be a top three pick. Unfortunately, Ralf can't even hold his tin foil sword the right way in his hand, and his general lameness drops this cover several spots on our list.

There's an old saying among baseball and football scouts: "You can't teach speed." Well, obviously they never talked to karate scouts. In the dangerous and sexy world of karate, you can not only teach speed (in a consumer magazine, no less!), you can double anyone's speed. That's how top karate prospects put up 2.2-second 40-yard dashes.

Dena Rae Hayess––Female Warrior for the New Millennium, or Human Typo? Or Kicker of Giant Hands?

Also, in direct refutation of the last cover we profiled, this month's issue seems to actually promote grappling, and not just for punch fighters! For kick fighters, too! Get your story straight, Inside Karate. Is grappling a worthwhile karate tactic or not? Let's hope for a deep dive next issue.


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #10: Benny and the New Jets

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

Questions. So many questions raised by this cover. Who is Benny? What was wrong with the Old Jets? Why are they wearing championship belts? What is their connection to Elton John? What is Elton John's connection to karate? Can Elton John beat Frank Dux in a straight-up karate fight?

We have no idea how or why a karate magazine would offer seven reasons not to grapple. Perhaps Bridgett Hare hates grappling and will wallop anybody who says otherwise.

This issue also promises to tackle the greatest problem of martial arts: How can the classes for something so badass be so boring to participate in? Hopefully the answer was "add more ropes and flame jets."

Note to self: My band's new name is Benny and the Flame Jets.


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!