Friday, September 13, 2013

Precious Wrestling Memories: For the Love of God, Sting, Stop Opening Those Giant Gift Boxes

As one of the most popular wrestlers in early-90s WCW, Sting had so many fans that his fame turned into a weakness. His villainous opponents discovered that, if they sent him haphazardly wrapped gifts during live television broadcasts, Sting would often let his guard down, assuming that one of his millions of Little Stingers had sent him a present. Or maybe it was from RoboCop.

By the time of the video below, Sting had already been ambushed by a Cactus Jack-filled gift box. That doesn't stop him from opening another one, though. We have no idea what he could have thought was in there (Industrial-sized tub of facepaint? 3,000 copies of The Crow on VHS?), but we're certain he didn't expect an obese man with genie pants pulled up to his sternum and a grotesque mass of scar tissue where his forehead should be.


Sting, if you're reading this, here's a hint: If you're the recipient of a gift that is vaguely man-sized, there will always be a man inside of it.

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