Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 7: Trouble in Tibet

Given that title and Rambo's penchant for freedom, I thought this might be the first episode of the show to have a plotline ripped from the headlines of real life. But China is not even mentioned in the episode.

Instead, the show seems to imply that Tibet's troubles only began recently, when SAVAGE showed up to kidnap the child who will become the future Dalai Lama. Their plan: to hold him hostage until the Tibetans reveal the location of King Solomon's legendary gold mines.

So, of course, Rambo is brought onto the case. For some reason, though, Col. Trautman doesn't drop him off at the top of the mountains, so Rambo has to hike all the way up.

He hires a local guide who is so inept that I started to wonder if he was actually a SAVAGE agent. But no, he was just a really bad guide. For example: When Turbo gets buried by a small avalanche, the guide says they have to get him out of there "before he freezes!" Apparently the guide thought Turbo could breathe just fine in there. Then the guide himself almost gets crushed by a falling ice spike, only to be saved by Rambo. Then, when KAT is suffering from altitude sickness but refuses medical attention because she wants to prove herself as tough as any of the men, the guide brushes off Rambo's very reasonable concerns until things get so bad that Rambo has to carry KAT down the mountain by himself.

Not that that was a problem.

At this point, he's earned the guide's respect, who calls Rambo "a man for this mountain!"

Things don't get any easier when Rambo (solo, of course, since those other losers were just holding him back) finally makes it to the Tibetan village. I thought the Tibetans were a peace loving people, but the first thing they do when Rambo shows up is put him into an arena battle with the toughest Tibetan ever! Rambo defeats him, so the spectators throw him a knife and demand he FINISH HIM.

Jesus Christ, these Tibetans are bloodthirsty.

Rambo refuses, and for his disobedience, they make him run across a glacier while being chased by a jungle tiger. Rambo outsmarts the tiger and traps it in an ice cave.

Did I mention that they didn't let him wear shoes?

So, having finally earned the respect of the villagers, Rambo returns just in time to get the keys to Turbo's newest vehicular invention: the Rocket Sleigh!

From there, it's a simple job to infiltrate SAVAGE's mountain fortress and rescue the Dalai Lama. The Rocket Sleigh is tragically destroyed in the subsequent helicopter battle, but Rambo quite easily finishes off his opposition with an automatic rifle, and all is well in Tibet.

Except for that whole Chinese rule thing.