Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 32: Swamp Monster

Crisis on the bayou!

The locals are terrified by what they believe is a swamp monster, even though within seconds they should have identified it as simply a floating tank with a spiked steamroller on the front.

"Hey guys!"

Luckily, one of the swampfolk is Turbo's Uncle Oliver, who makes a late-nite to Turbo's high-rise city apartment call to get the Force of Freedom on the case.

What's Turbo Doing on His Day Off?

Turbo and Rambo leave KAT at home and travel to the bayou, where they quickly encounter several deadly animals

Rambo does NOT like water moccasins.

before finally encountering the swamp monster, which is being piloted by Sgt. Havoc. He tries to incinerate them with the tank's flamethrower, possibly the most questionable weapon one could choose to mount onto an aquatic assault vehicle. Havoc threatens to "burn down the entire swamp!" to get at Rambo, which: good luck.

Rambo escapes and swims to the SAVAGE swampbase,

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which appears to consist of one watchtower and one sod house on a large sandbar. Way to take advantage of the Homestead Act, guys. Their plot: to construct a satellite dish for unspoken purposes. Pretty sure that's not even illegal.

Rambo climbs to the top of the watchtower to confront Warhawk,

who pulls out a broadsword and cuts a rope, dropping Rambo through a trapdoor and into the area between the legs of the watchtower, which doubles as a prison cell.

Then they hang Rambo by his arms from a tree branch so that he's waist-deep in the water.

"If the crayfish don't finish you, maybe the leeches will!" Warhawk cackles before leaving. He does not have a functional grasp of which aquatic species are most deadly.

Nevertheless, the swamps crayfish and leeches quickly move in for the kill(!) before Rambo escapes, blows everything up, and makes it back to Uncle Oliver's shack just in time for dinner. On the menu? Crayfish stew!

WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, CRUSTACEANS?

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.