Sunday, March 24, 2013

Are You Bad Enough? Goes to the Movies! #1: Lone Wolf McQuade

To understand the badass that is Lone Wolf McQuade, you need to understand the likes and dislikes of the man himself. What follows is by no means a complete list.

Things McQuade Loves:
Insanely super powered jeeps
Local Texas beer
Impossibly tight jeans
His dog
Drinking from huge canteens even while in the middle of a city
Participating in slow motion water fights with a dangerous criminal's girlfriend
His daughter
Revolvers and sawed off shotguns

Things McQuade Hates:
Imported Beer
Hillbilly Racism
Fighting for money
Crazy little people that love video games
Overly brutal karate exhibitions
Wearing shirts
The fact that his ex wife is moving away with his daughter

Firearms Fact: Accuracy is improved 500% when you don't wear a shirt.
If the above characteristics of a film hero sound like someone you would like to see kick unholy ass for 90 minutes, then stop what you are doing and watch this film immediately. I will leave you with this quote from McQuade's best friend that he utters when he sees an attractive woman: "How would you like to bite that in the butt, develop lockjaw, and be dragged to death?"

McQuade does not discriminate!

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