Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Top 5 Best Pro Wrestling Entrance Music: #1: All-American Boys

Before Jacques Rougeau joined the corps of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, he was a simple Qu├ębecois who dreamed of someday moving to the United States with his brother Raymond. Together, they formed the tag team combination known as the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers.

Pure genius. Remember how foreign wrestlers are all bad guys? The Fabulous Rougeaus were even worse, because they pretended to like the USA! Even though you could tell they totally didn't! They came to the ring waving tiny American flags and were announced as being "From Montreal, Canada, but soon to make their residence in the United States." Frankly, I'm starting to suspect that they'll never move here.

"We don't like heavy metal, we don't like rock 'n roll, all we like to listen to is Barry Manilow!"

The lyrics trash talk all the best parts of American culture: our long hair, our brawny men, and our hatred of preppies. The best line of the song, though, is when the Rougeaus threaten to continue speaking French even after they cross the border on their journey to Memphis to pick up American women. Not in my country, Jacques!

So the concept behind the song is amazing, but putting all that aside, what makes "All-American Boys" the top wrestling entrance theme of all time is that judged on its own merits, it's still an awesome '80s synth-pop track. Slap bass, a ripping guitar solo, androgynous background vocals during the chorus. That's a song any immigrant can be proud of.

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