Friday, May 24, 2013

This Is a Real Comic Book Character: Jaxxon

I have a bad feeling about this.

Jaxxon is a fast-talking green space rabbit with a flair for the dramatic. The pilot of The Rabbit's Foot, one of the few ships in the galaxy dumpier than the Millennium Falcon, Jaxxon worked odd jobs across the universe as a smuggler before meeting up with Han Solo in the wake of the destruction of the first Death Star. Why Han Solo decided to hang out with a cosmic bunny instead of continuing to hit on Princess Leia or collect a huge reward from the Rebel Alliance for his heroic has yet to be explained.

Together with Solo, a space hottie named Amaiza Foxtrain(!) and a few other hooligans, Jaxxon defended a small village from the Cloud-Riders of Aduba-3, Kurosawa-style, despite his dire predictions for the battle.

The only fighter that can "KCHOP" someone with his foot.
After the battle, Foxtrain decided to become Jaxxon's sidekick, forgoing an opportunity to ride with one of the heroes of the Battle of Yavin, which casts doubt on her decision-making abilities. Maybe she was just allergic to Wookiee hair. The two of them soon travelled the galaxy, hitting all the big gambling planets and eventually retiring on their winnings.

Despite getting the last word in, Jaxxon somehow loses a verbal confrontation with Han Solo.
Forgoing the typical casual attire of the Star Wars galaxy, Jaxxon prefers to wear his bright red spacesuit and thigh-high boots, a sign that he craves the attention he could never receive from his parents because they were too busy caring for his twelve siblings on the planet Coachelle Prime. It seems that space rabbits breed just as easily as Earthly ones.


  1. Are you sure that's not Cpt. Bucky O'Hare? Worst action figure ever!

  2. You just blew my mind, I had completely forgotten about Bucky O'Hare! George Lucas must have litigated him out of my memory.