Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 35: The Iron Mask

The Force of Freedom is enjoying some R&R at Oktoberfest in Germany when the mayor has a heart attack. After Rambo saves him with some quick CPR, he gets back up and continues hosting like nothing ever happened.

Meanwhile, nearby, a young German boy named Horst is spying on the Man in the Iron Mask, who is informing SAVAGE in his castle that he has found a sunken plane full of Nazi gold in the lake next to his castle. The boy sees the man without his mask, so they all chase him on foot through the Black Forest, where he trips and falls, giving himself amnesia.

Luckily, he sees Rambo in town and seeks his assistance (good instincts!). Rambo keeps saying they need to get Horst to "a safe place." The mayor offers his secluded hunting cabin, which Rambo thinks sounds like a great idea. So they hop in the attack jeep with this child, to bring him to the secluded hunting cabin.

BUT! Mad Dog and his biker gang show up on their attack three-wheelers.

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Rambo turns the tables by shooting a rocket into a cornfield, showering his pursuers in popcorn. They crash and are chased away by pigs.

Rambo then drives the attack boat over to the Nazi gold lake and dives down to check things out. Have you ever considered engaging Rambo in undersea combat?
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After getting lassoed by the Man in the Iron Mask and dragged behind a speedboat like a tuber (he even gets pulled through the weeds!), Rambo escapes into his attack boat and wreaks havoc. The only way to stop him? Light the lake on fire! 

Except even that doesn't do the job.
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"Now I know how fried chicken feels!" That's literally what he said.

Rambo then returns to the secluded hunting cabin to hang out with Horst.

Sadly, the secluded hunting cabin is immediately run over by the Man in the Iron Mask in a tank. He's even got Rambo on the ropes, until...
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After that, all that's left to do is rescue KAT and Turbo from being incinerated by a space rocket that, in an unexplained segment of their plan, SAVAGE filled up with the sunken Nazi gold, and then deliver this peice of advice to Horst: "Parents are a lot more forgiving than kids think!" before staring into the wind and smiling.
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No one has ever been happier than Rambo is at this moment.

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