Friday, December 18, 2015

Top 5 Arcade Characters We Want the Rock to Portray Next: #1: The Chef from Burgertime

The announcement of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's latest film project, an adaptation of the classic arcade game Rampage, has us excited. The news that Johnson would merely be playing a normal human battling against these monsters lowered our hype just a bit, but we're still holding out hope that the twist at the end of the movie is that he'll grow to massive size to do battle on their level. If you thought Jason Statham taking a Rock Bottom through a coffee table in Furious 7 was awesome, just imagine a giant werewolf getting hit with a La Magistral Cradle in the middle of Cleveland. Where can I buy tickets??

To celebrate the Rock's continued cinematic success, here's our humble list of the next classic arcade game characters he should portray. At number one: Peter Pepper, the chef from Burgertime!

Imagine if a trailer for Burgertime: The Movie came on and you heard Mr. Movie Trailer Voice say this:

"We've all smelled what the Rock is cooking...

But this is the first time that what's cooking has smelled The Rock!"

Followed by 90 seconds of Rock being chased by Andre the Giant-sized pickles, sausages and eggs while he's chugging coffee and wolfing down fries and ice cream. You know he has the appetite for greatness that is required for this iconic role.

Not to mention that it wouldn't be the first time he's worked on a chef-based creative project.

It'd be box office gold.

Your entire career has been leading up to this, Rock. You've been cultivating and consolidating your power in both Hollywood and the culinary community. You're the only one who can make Burgertime: The Movie happen!

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