Top 5 Arcade Characters We Want the Rock to Portray Next: #1: The Chef from Burgertime

The announcement of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's latest film project, an adaptation of the classic arcade game Rampage, has us excited. The news that Johnson would merely be playing a normal human battling against these monsters lowered our hype just a bit, but we're still holding out hope that the twist at the end of the movie is that he'll grow to massive size to do battle on their level. If you thought Jason Statham taking a Rock Bottom through a coffee table in Furious 7 was awesome, just imagine a giant werewolf getting hit with a La Magistral Cradle in the middle of Cleveland. Where can I buy tickets??

To celebrate the Rock's continued cinematic success, here's our humble list of the next classic arcade game characters he should portray. At number one: Peter Pepper, the chef from Burgertime!

Imagine if a trailer for Burgertime: The Movie came on and you heard Mr. Movie Trailer Voice say this:

"We've all smelled what the Rock is cooking...

But this is the first time that what's cooking has smelled The Rock!"

Followed by 90 seconds of Rock being chased by Andre the Giant-sized pickles, sausages and eggs while he's chugging coffee and wolfing down fries and ice cream. You know he has the appetite for greatness that is required for this iconic role.

Not to mention that it wouldn't be the first time he's worked on a chef-based creative project.

It'd be box office gold.

Your entire career has been leading up to this, Rock. You've been cultivating and consolidating your power in both Hollywood and the culinary community. You're the only one who can make Burgertime: The Movie happen!

That's So Punisher #22

Scuttling the shuttle launch!

Are You Band Enough? Music Reviews: Stan Bush's The Ultimate: Track 8: "The Journey"

The procedure for reviewing these songs isn't rocket science. We put the tracks on repeat, listen until they soak into our subconscious, then listen some more, until they suffuse our hearts and blood. Then we nick a vein and the review pretty much writes itself.

Unfortunately, with "The Journey," I blacked out as soon as the song repeated for the first time. That night, when I finally came to, I realized that during those lost hours I had solved all my life's problems. And I still wasn't tired of the song.

Murder She Wrote Recaps: S2E20: Menace, Anyone?

Chaos erupts at the inaugural JB Fletcher All-Star Tennis Tournament when the top seed in the men's bracket––played by guest star Bryan Cranston––is blown up by a mafia-style car bomb. While solving the case, Jessica uses her celebrity status to trick a patient at a mental hospital into giving her access to confidential records about the emotional health of the tournament's organizer––played by guest star Linda Hamilton.

Top 5 Arcade Characters We Want the Rock to Portray Next: #2: A Bad Dude

The announcement of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's latest film project, an adaptation of the classic arcade game Rampage, has us excited. The news that Johnson would merely be playing a normal human battling against these monsters lowered our hype just a bit, but we're still holding out hope that the twist at the end of the movie is that he'll grow to massive size to do battle on their level. If you thought Jason Statham taking a Rock Bottom through a coffee table in Furious 7 was awesome, just imagine a giant werewolf getting hit with a La Magistral Cradle in the middle of Cleveland. Where can I buy tickets??

To celebrate the Rock's continued cinematic success, here's our humble list of the next classic arcade game characters he should portray. At number two: either Blade or Striker of the Bad Dudes!

if you make a movie of it starring the Rock, that's how

Ever since The Cannon Group film studio was shuttered in 1994, our country has suffered from a severe deficiency of ninja movies. It's time repopulate our lives with shuriken, kunai and caltrops, and the best way to do that is with a big-budget production of Bad Dudes Vs. DragonNinja.

If and when this movie goes into production, we can almost guarantee the Rock will attach himself to it. It's the perfect project for him. Action, adventure, conservative politics,

Raisin' brows with Bar!

street brawling, fire breathing, battles with fat guys who look like they belong in a circus... all of these things are among the Rock's chief interests.

Bonus points if Rocky portrays both of the Bad Dudes, Double Impact-style.