Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #3: Togetherness Training

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

Finally, the secret of JCVD's martial arts training is revealed! Over the past few decades, many in the martial arts and filmmaking communities and have questioned Van Damme's asskicking bonafides. "He doesn't actually know karate," some have claimed. "He's just a glorified gymnast!"

Well, this cover sets the record straight once and for all. JCVD is a black belt in the ancient art of Togetherness. Clearly, that's also the secret he learned before breaking into martial arts films, considering that he's never been hurt.

We also like to think that the windmill technique Jean-Claude is demonstrating with his arms on this cover is the key to blowing away his opponent's kicks. Now if only he could brush up on the fine art of hinting so as to let Gladys down easy in regards to the questionable fashion value of her combination jumpsuit-overalls workout apparel.

That's what makes this the #3 Inside Karate cover––everything ties together so beautifully.


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Real Advice From Mr. T #9

"Roots! You can't know where you're going if you don't know where you're from!"

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #4: Michele "Mouse" Krasnoo

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

Sometimes we think Inside Karate should be renamed Inside the Patronization of Karate Women. As you can see, the tradition of doing cover shoots with women in their silk pajamas continues in this issue.

Many an adept karate master has been killed because they got into a karate fight on the street, where they weren't adequately dressed for deadly combat. That's why it's important to wear your dojo uniform at all times, or barring that, read this issue's guide to protecting yourself from a surprise assault from the likes of Mark Glazier.

Also: we still haven't figured out what the placement of the quotation marks is supposed to mean in "'How Hapkido' Saved My Career." But figuring out this cover's punctuation-fu is far more rewarding than trying to remember the career(?) of L.A. Dodgers slowballer Jim Gott. Though we would have killed to see Gott utilize the traditional hapkido nunchaku on the mound.

Becoming an Instructor: Are You Bad Enough? If only that was the headline, this cover would have grabbed the coveted #1 spot on our countdown. As it is, the Michele "Mouse" Krasnoo's slumber party pictorial can only squeak this cover into fourth place.


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Murder She Wrote Recaps: S1E17: Sudden Death

Jessica inherits an ownership stake in a professional football team in an unspecified-yet-televised league. She accidentally sees Dick Butkus' junk in the locker room. She's nearly killed after being shoved into a steam room... that's been turned to HIGH! And she goes for a ride in a helmet-shaped car driven by a deaf 10-year-old girl.

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #5: The Martial Art of Zorro

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

When you think of history's greatest martial arts film stars, you think of Jackie Chan. Tony Jaa. Chuck Norris. Oh yeah, and Antonio Banderas. This issue promises an in-depth expose on the "martial art of Zorro," which mainly involved distracting his enemies with his luscious chest hair before hacking their dresses to pieces with his sword. Oh and riding horses. That's a martial art, right?

The thing we really love about this cover, though, is the Zorro/Bruce Lee pastiche. It appears that Lee is using his superhuman speed to sneak up behind the Mexican freedom fighter, whose head is somehow squished between the "Inside" and the "Karate."

Also: Stare into Cynthia Barker's abs and tell us what happens. Have you lost the capacity for speech? No problem, she clearly knows sign language!

Apparently an army once conquered the world using only grappling techniques. Tell me again why Inside Karate once claimed there were seven reasons never to grapple?


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

What's Andre the Giant Doing in the 1970s? #15

Breaking the Iron Sheik's back, making him humble!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #6: Female Action Stars

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

It's not 1952 anymore. This is the '90s. Our females want to have it all. They want to be action stars. They want to want to wear silk karate gis with a bedazzled fringes. And they want to wear makeup and jewelry while they kick dudes straight through the Inside Karate logo. And why shouldn't they be able to? Females can do anything––even go one-on-one with Don "The Dragon" Wilson, if we're reading this cover correctly. Does this mean that "The Dragon" is against the idea of females being action stars? Find out... inside!

Are your kids having trouble paying attention in school? Not to worry! Just use Tae Kwon Do on them until they shape up! For the record, we're hoping that Tae Kwon Do is also the cure to the Delayed Death Touch.

Also of note: Another point in favor of grappling. And if the Boston Crab isn't included in the list of Unbeatable Finishing Holds, I'm canceling my subscription.

Plus! Inside Karate finally defeated Inside Tae Kwon Do once and for all, and, after eating its heart, has now usurped its power!


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!

Top 10 Covers of Inside Karate Magazine: #7: Mark Glazier

In the early 1980s, there existed a magazine called Kick Illustrated. It was the world's premier source for photos of kicks. But its editors weren't satisfied. They dared to ask the question, "What if?" What if there was a magazine that pulled back the veil not just on kicks, but on punches. On grapples. On open-fist palm strikes. On throat chops. And so was Inside Karate magazine born.

Inside Karate, or "Karate Inside Karate," as its own covers seem to call it, combined all the over-earnest badassery of late-20th century martial arts with the zazzy, breezy coverlines of a city magazine. That combination, much like a combination of strikes followed by a triangle choke, turned Inside Karate into this world's preeminent printed publication and earned it a stranglehold on the martial arts community's reading circles until its untimely demise in 1999. Did readership really dwindle? Or was the new century simply unprepared to coexist with such a kickass periodical?

Don't be fooled by copycats like Professional Karate or Karate Illustrated. They have neither the high-quality karate action photography nor the deep-diving karate action features to compete with the marketplace leader. Join us as we count down the best magazine covers in karate action history.

Finally, Inside Karate stops tip-toeing around addressing the ultimate threat to any karate fighter: guns. (Or "gun defenses," as their confused phrasing seems to imply.) What do you do when your opponent pulls a firearm? Is your chi bad enough to stop a bullet? Find out inside!

"Ranking Systems: What do they Really Mean?" In other words, this issue of Inside Karate has a cover feature that could have been called "How to read numbers."

And, of course, Mark Glazier. Who is he? Judging by this cover, he's a suburban dad who saw some black teens at the mall last weekend and got scared. Now he walks the streets at night, shoeless, in his grey jeans and homemade karate top, jump-punching any feathered-mulleted fool to wander within striking distance. A true success story!

We're also crossing our fingers that Mark Glazier is the secret identity of masked karate pro wrestler Glacier.

Hopefully next issue will reveal the secret behind the Mark Glazier Cryonic Kick!


Think you can do better? Study the cover archive here and show us your moves!