Murder She Wrote Recaps: S3E1: Death Stalks the Big Top, Part 1

We start the episode by meeting yet another Fletcher niece: a pre-Friends Courteney Cox. When she anonymously receives a silver leprechaun in the mail, she takes it as incontrovertible proof that her grandfather Neil (Jessica's late husband's brother) must have actually faked his death in that boat explosion so many years ago.

Jessica tracks Neil to a traveling circus, but when she's stonewalled by the tight-knit carny community, she must resort to a classic Fletcher ruse. Disguised in a plaid muumuu and heart-shaped sunglasses, she befriends a baby elephant and baby chimpanzee and infiltrates the circus just in time to see Neil being carted away for allegedly murdering a stagehand that had unsuccessfully hit on all the women of the circus the previous night.

TO BE CONTINUED...!

Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 14: Lost City of Acra

After a one-episode break, SAVAGE has moved their schemes back to India. This time, after a very brief search, they've found and conquered the Lost City of Acra and enslaved its people to dig for buried treasure.

It really didn't take them long to find the Lost City. It doesn't appear to be hidden in any way. It's clearly visible from the air. Plus a ton of people live there, and they have modern things like eyeglasses, etc. So I'm not sure how "lost" it really is.

"Get me Rambo!"

So Trautman picks up Rambo during Rambo's day off, then Rambo picks up his team during their days off. No more days off, team! Turbo is flying a plane in a stunt show at what looks to be a state fair. Rambo goes up into the tower and makes him stop the show right in the middle of his act. So many disappointed children.

Then they go pick up KAT, who is spending her leisure time blowing up buildings using a crossbow with explosive arrows.

They all get dropped off in India at a different village, which is weird, because, as I mentioned, everybody seems to already know where the Lost City is.

Rambo is sleeping on a cot in his tent that night when a young Indian man comes in and throws a monkey on Rambo's back! Rambo is quite surprised, but spends about 10 precious seconds lighting his kerosene lamp rather than trying to defend himself. Turns out the kid offers him no ill will. In fact, he wants Rambo's help! He is the son of the chief of the Lost City and his name really sounds like "Chad."

Rambo promises to help, and the next day, he joins a ranging expedition headed for the Lost City. For unknown reasons, he makes Turbo and KAT stay at the camp. But! The soldiers Rambo is with are actually agents of SAVAGE!

They try to get rid of him by attempting to lure him into natural disasters. Because for some reason they feel the need to make it look like an accident?

First they try to make a tree fall on him. Rambo easily escapes. Next they try to lure him to a jungle stream by saying "water would feel very good on the face!" Then, when he goes to put water on his face, they start a rock slide! He escapes by jumping into the pool of water.

Finally, out on the savannah, they start an elephant stampede (because every episode of a cartoon that takes place in India must somehow involve elephants)! But Rambo simply jumps on top of the elephants and rides them to safety.

Unfortunately, despite this photo's promise, he does not suplex them.

Meanwhile, in the Lost City, Gripper is serving as the slave driver. There is a subplot involving the chief becoming ill that consists entirely of Gripper saying "The chief is ill!" to Warhawk as he walks by. It is never mentioned again.

Rambo, back at camp, receives a message from Chad, who has tied a note to his monkey! The message reveals that the guys who were trying to kill Rambo are evil. Rambo is like, "no doy."

Then they all go to the Lost City early one morning, have the monkey wake up all the bad guys by making a huge racket, and quite easily defeat the forces of SAVAGE by throwing them all into a river.

Gripper tried to bake Rambo from point blank range. He failed.

Rambo surveys the city. "If there was no greed, there'd be no fighting and no war," he says, "and wouldn't that be great?" Mission complete.

Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 12: Cult of the Cobra

SAVAGE sure has been outsourcing a lot of their evil schemes lately. Just two episodes ago, they played second fiddle to the great grandson of Dracula, and in this episode, they're following the lead of Rama, the leader of the of India's Cult of the Cobra.

Not this one.

Or this one. :(

Rama's plan:

1.) Hijack a train carrying foodstuffs to one of India's provinces. This is accomplished by having three or four cultists jump onto the train and release single cobras from their bags. The train's conductor and guards, despite being armed, are so terrified that they jump off, leaving it completely undefended.

It's possible that the hijacked train was the Darjeeling Ltd.

2.) Apparently just starving people isn't enough. The SAVAGE thugs and cultists (including one guy riding a really mean elephant!) start harassing the hungry people of a local village. At this point Rambo shows up, runs off all the bad guys, and tames the elephant, which becomes his vehicle of choice for the rest of the episode.

3.) Rama and General Warhawk believe the only remaining obstacle to becoming king of India (or something? Their motivations are frustratingly vague) is an underground Indian military base. Thankfully, they've devised a totally-not-completely-bonkers plan to get rid of it: They make a cobra swallow a live bomb and then release it into the base's ventilation system.

That's when Rambo appears on the scene, riding the elephant with a little girl who claimed to be able to shave hours off their pachyderm travel time.

I believe this special ability is commonly known as "owning a map."

Rambo dives into the ventilation shaft, grabs the snake, forces the bomb out like he's getting the last bit of toothpaste out of a tube, and throws it from below the surface of the earth high enough into the sky that nothing takes any damage from its explosion.

Finally, it's time to take the battle to the Cult of the Cobra's home turf! The little Indian girl suspects that a mountain temple topped by a giant stone cobra that she recently stumbled across just might have some connection to the cult. Rambo and crew travel there––John is so enamored with his elephant transport (it can run as fast as a car!) that he even lets Turbo drive the attack jeep. Bad move, Rambo––when faced with a rock slide, Turbo says something about taking "an alternate route," but what he really means is "I'm going to drive the attack jeep of the side of a cliff and land it on a tree, leaving Rambo to assault the base on his own."

Not that that's a problem. Rambo drives his elephant right to the front door of the temple, then somehow wins a 1-on-4 assault rifle fight in which no one takes a bullet and drives SAVAGE out of India forever. High on victory, he foolishly tells his comrades that it'd be easy to solve the problem of world hunger if only people cared to make the effort.