Lifting only two women (relaxing).
Before fancy graphics, coherent writing, and cultural sensitivity, the world was a badder place. Join us as we remember a time when having three frames of animation for your sprite was a luxury and the only requirement for rescuing the president from ninjas was being sufficiently bad.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
What's Rambo Doing on His Day Off? #10
John Rambo is perched atop his log cabin in the mountains, making repairs to its roof. Never one to take the easy way out, he holds the primitive stone hammer just below its head, presumably to make the task more challenging.
As seen in Rambo: The Force of Freedom episode 15: Exercise in Terror.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
What's Rambo Doing on His Day Off? #9
John Rambo has a bunch of kids up on a sheer cliff face. His goal: To teach them how to rappel down the side of the mountain without any safety gear.
As seen in Rambo: The Force of Freedom episode 14: Guns Over the Suez.
Friday, August 1, 2014
Are You Band Enough? Music Reviews: Stan Bush's The Ultimate: Track 4: "Love Again"
Never has he seemed more human.
After 17 studio albums and more than three decades of rocking all around the world, it's comforting to know that Stan Bush doesn't yet have everything in life figured out yet. The lyrics of "Love Again" reveal that the ennobling musician is still surprising himself after all these years. "Never thought I could love again/Never knew that my heart would mend" he croons in one of this album's rare down-tempo, catch-your-breath moments.
His journey of self discovery mirrors ours as we continue to (slowly) make our way through his latest masterpiece, savoring each song and giving it time to properly sink into our subconsciouses before spilling our hearts onto this blog, much as Stan himself spills his own heart to the new love of his life in this song.
Let's Talk About Rambo: Episode 14: Lost City of Acra
After a one-episode break, SAVAGE has moved their schemes back to India. This time, after a very brief search, they've found and conquered the Lost City of Acra and enslaved its people to dig for buried treasure.
It really didn't take them long to find the Lost City. It doesn't appear to be hidden in any way. It's clearly visible from the air. Plus a ton of people live there, and they have modern things like eyeglasses, etc. So I'm not sure how "lost" it really is.
So Trautman picks up Rambo during Rambo's day off, then Rambo picks up his team during their days off. No more days off, team! Turbo is flying a plane in a stunt show at what looks to be a state fair. Rambo goes up into the tower and makes him stop the show right in the middle of his act. So many disappointed children.
Then they go pick up KAT, who is spending her leisure time blowing up buildings using a crossbow with explosive arrows.
Rambo promises to help, and the next day, he joins a ranging expedition headed for the Lost City. For unknown reasons, he makes Turbo and KAT stay at the camp. But! The soldiers Rambo is with are actually agents of SAVAGE!
They try to get rid of him by attempting to lure him into natural disasters. Because for some reason they feel the need to make it look like an accident?
First they try to make a tree fall on him. Rambo easily escapes. Next they try to lure him to a jungle stream by saying "water would feel very good on the face!" Then, when he goes to put water on his face, they start a rock slide! He escapes by jumping into the pool of water.
Finally, out on the savannah, they start an elephant stampede (because every episode of a cartoon that takes place in India must somehow involve elephants)! But Rambo simply jumps on top of the elephants and rides them to safety.
Meanwhile, in the Lost City, Gripper is serving as the slave driver. There is a subplot involving the chief becoming ill that consists entirely of Gripper saying "The chief is ill!" to Warhawk as he walks by. It is never mentioned again.
Rambo, back at camp, receives a message from Chad, who has tied a note to his monkey! The message reveals that the guys who were trying to kill Rambo are evil. Rambo is like, "no doy."
Then they all go to the Lost City early one morning, have the monkey wake up all the bad guys by making a huge racket, and quite easily defeat the forces of SAVAGE by throwing them all into a river.
Rambo surveys the city. "If there was no greed, there'd be no fighting and no war," he says, "and wouldn't that be great?" Mission complete.
It really didn't take them long to find the Lost City. It doesn't appear to be hidden in any way. It's clearly visible from the air. Plus a ton of people live there, and they have modern things like eyeglasses, etc. So I'm not sure how "lost" it really is.
 |
| "Get me Rambo!" |
Then they go pick up KAT, who is spending her leisure time blowing up buildings using a crossbow with explosive arrows.
They all get dropped off in India at a different village, which is weird, because, as I mentioned, everybody seems to already know where the Lost City is.
Rambo is sleeping on a cot in his tent that night when a young Indian man comes in and throws a monkey on Rambo's back! Rambo is quite surprised, but spends about 10 precious seconds lighting his kerosene lamp rather than trying to defend himself. Turns out the kid offers him no ill will. In fact, he wants Rambo's help! He is the son of the chief of the Lost City and his name really sounds like "Chad."
Rambo promises to help, and the next day, he joins a ranging expedition headed for the Lost City. For unknown reasons, he makes Turbo and KAT stay at the camp. But! The soldiers Rambo is with are actually agents of SAVAGE!
They try to get rid of him by attempting to lure him into natural disasters. Because for some reason they feel the need to make it look like an accident?
First they try to make a tree fall on him. Rambo easily escapes. Next they try to lure him to a jungle stream by saying "water would feel very good on the face!" Then, when he goes to put water on his face, they start a rock slide! He escapes by jumping into the pool of water.
Finally, out on the savannah, they start an elephant stampede (because every episode of a cartoon that takes place in India must somehow involve elephants)! But Rambo simply jumps on top of the elephants and rides them to safety.
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| Unfortunately, despite this photo's promise, he does not suplex them. |
Rambo, back at camp, receives a message from Chad, who has tied a note to his monkey! The message reveals that the guys who were trying to kill Rambo are evil. Rambo is like, "no doy."
Then they all go to the Lost City early one morning, have the monkey wake up all the bad guys by making a huge racket, and quite easily defeat the forces of SAVAGE by throwing them all into a river.
 |
| Gripper tried to bake Rambo from point blank range. He failed. |
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